Have we kept something to ourselves?

One of the questions in our nightly review is:

 

Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once?

 

What determines what something discussion worthy is. We need only look at the previous step:

 

Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.

 

After doing our 4th and 5th many of us are painfully aware of what a resentment looks like when it is fully manifested. Here in our tenth step we are DIRECTED to discuss them when they crop up

 

Here is where I am prone to justify not bothering anyone. They seem so small, so harmless. That is often exactly how they look when they crop up. They are thoughts, maybe a slight case of irritability. And by discussing them with someone I am giving you an opportunity to assist me before I call you at 3 AM with a gun in my hand and murder on my mind!

 

When they are in the cropping up phase I may not have caused any harm:

 

"make amends quickly if ..."

 

If- Maybe I acted, maybe I didn't

 

So- in my personal life I still have things that crop up. I easily justified not discussing my "thoughts" with others because I felt that they were just thoughts (thoughts are sometimes things that just crop up)

 

Have we kept something to ourselves - How often have you plastered on a smile when inside you are screaming?

 

- I have also used the notion that I am learning to become God dependent and not sponsor dependent. Now, of course the irony here is that in the eleventh step, where I am really tying to become God dependent it asks me if I have kept something to myself which should be discussed with another?

 

We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.

 

The book warns me about my inexperience:

 

Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times.

We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas.

 

Now it does not say call your sponsor with all your stuff, but the directions seem quite clear to me.

 

What do you have to lose by following them to the letter?

 

I fall short of that ( to the letter) often, and seem to suffer when I do (sometimes quickly sometimes slowly)

 

What do you do when these crop up?

 

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